Life always finds little ways of nudging you to pause, look back, and realise just how far you’ve come.
This week, that nudge arrived in the form of one of my business’s birthdays – 15th birthday, to be exact.
CJC Hair & Makeup, my very first “baby,” turned fifteen.
Many years of very early mornings on weddings, late nights with bridal clients in the studio or at parties and events. There were crazy busy summers (hello, bridal season!) red carpets, TV & Film awards, corporate shoots, 16-hour days filming, celebrity clients… and of course pandemics, rebuilds, reinventions… and a lot of forced growth.
I’ve never once celebrated a business birthday, but 15 years is no mean feat, so this year I gave it a proper celebration.
Not (just) with a social post or a quiet little reflective moment on my own.
But with an actual party – surrounded by my team, the people who deliver the magic, the people who have shaped this journey as much as I have.
We hosted it at Syp, a bar in the City owned by my friend, Robin.
Our friendship goes back to 2012, when he was launching WeddingPlanner.co.uk, and he reached out to collaborate on some content and came to my home studio to film some bridal beauty tutorials.
It was a very un-glamorous, makeshift setup… but there was passion and excitement of two people at the start of their business journeys.
Standing in his awesome new jazz bar, 13 years older, hopefully wiser, and certainly more grounded – I felt something I rarely let myself sit with:
Pride.
Not the loud and boastful kind.
But the warm, fuzzy feeling kind.
The one you feel in your heart, not your ego.
The kind that says, “I’m so glad I didn’t give up on this.”
Because there were many times I could…
There were many times I wanted to.
This business wasn’t born from business knowledge.
It certainly didn’t have a plan or a strategy.
But it was born from passion and creativity, and I was dedicated to learning whatever I needed to and told myself I’d figure it out as I went.
There have been many periods of reinvention for both me and the business.
I made the decision to keep it going while I moved into coaching, so I could ‘stay in the trenches,‘ so to speak, and give my clients real-time advice, support, and insights while I tackled similar struggles to theirs.
And that’s why this anniversary feels different.
It’s not just a business milestone – it’s a leadership milestone.
Because everything I’ve built, everything I’ve survived, every version of me that has gotten back up – all of it has made me the leader I am today.
To honour this chapter, and the multiple versions of me who built it, I want to share 15 important lessons I’ve learned along the way.
These aren’t theoretical lessons or gimicky quotes, these are fully lived-in truths which I’ve earned the hard way.
1. You never “arrive.” You just keep learning.
Leadership is not a destination. It’s a practice.
Nothing stays still – not the market, not your team, and definitely not you.
If you stop learning, you stop leading. The greatest leaders stay students.
2. Perspective is your most powerful leadership tool.
You must practise seeing through other people’s eyes, not to agree, but to understand. When you learn to see from other people’s eyes and not only your own, then you become a leader people trust, not tolerate.
Understanding is how you unlock potential (yours and theirs).
3. Delegate fast, but educate yourself first.
Let people help you.
Let people be better at things than you.
But understand the basics before handing anything over – otherwise you’re outsourcing your power, not your workload. Knowledge gives you confidence, and blindly handing things off will give you chaos.
4. You’ll make mistakes (more than you’d like to admit), and you must own them.
I’ve made some spectacular mistakes over the years – in team hires, team fires, finances, service design, partnerships, boundaries… the lot.
Owning them made me stronger.
Avoiding them made me weaker.
Accountability is leadership.
5. Empathy is a strategy, not a soft skill
It’s what keeps your team loyal.
It’s what creates psychological safety.
It’s what turns workplaces into ecosystems and creates a positive culture.
6. Honesty is always the right investment.
I’ve built my businesses, my coaching, my content, and my relationships on truth.
Truth is riskier in the moment but more powerful in the long run.
7. Being liked is optional. Being respected is essential.
Trying to be liked by everybody is the fastest way to lose yourself – and your authority. Chasing approval erodes identity. Lead from integrity, not insecurity.
Remember: authenticity earns respect… and setting strong boundaries is what keeps it.
8. Know your values, but don’t attach your identity to your role.
You are not your job title.
You are not your revenue.
You are not your wins.
Your identity must be rooted internally, not externally… otherwise leadership becomes performative and not purposeful.
9. Collaboration trumps competition. Always.
When I stopped comparing myself to others and started collaborating, everything expanded – opportunities, revenue, creativity, and community.
10. Stay endlessly curious.
Read widely.
Travel often.
Ask questions and listen intently.
Expose yourself to new cultures and perspectives.
Curiosity makes you a better leader and a better human… and exposure to different worlds makes you a better leader in your own.
11. Take responsibility for your patterns, not just your actions.
Most problems are repetitions in disguise.
Trace them.
Interrupt them.
Even when something “wasn’t your fault,” your choices played some part in the outcome. Reflection gives you clarity; and that clarity gives you knowledge, power and freedom.
12. Don’t hoard knowledge – share it.
Gatekeeping is a fearful practice.
Leaders educate, elevate, and empower others to rise.
Share your knowledge generously because abundance is a leadership strategy.
13. Vulnerability builds loyalty, not weakness.
The leaders I respect most are the ones who allow themselves to be human.
When you lead with humanity, your team leans in, not away. Let people see the real you.
14. Let go gracefully.
People, mindsets, dynamics, offers, identities…
Not everything gets to come with you into your next chapter.
Releasing what no longer aligns creates space for what does. Release them with grace, but make sure you do fully release them.
15. Your influence is far bigger than you think
Your wins inspire.
Your honesty reassures.
And your courage permits others to be courageous too.
Leadership is not about hierarchy – it’s about impact.
Leadership Isn’t About Leading a Team – It’s About Leading Yourself First
This business has shaped me in ways I didn’t see coming.
It’s taught me to stretch at times and soften in others.
To listen, then lead.
To surrender and rebuild.
To stop performing and start embodying.
To trust myself more than I ever thought possible.
And it’s taught me that leadership isn’t about being in charge, it’s about being in alignment.
Because when you lead yourself well, then everything and everyone else follows.
We’re approaching the end of the year now, it’s a time when things are asking to be re-evaluated, and that’s why I’m hosting my upcoming Year-End Reflect & Plan Session – a guided workshop designed to help you:
✨ Reflect on who you’ve been this year
✨ Reconnect with who you’re becoming
✨ Release what no longer belongs
✨ And create a grounded, aligned plan for 2026
It’s not about forcing productivity.
It’s about leading yourself with clarity, honesty, and intention before you step into the new year and your next chapter.
If you’d like to join us, then all the details are HERE
If you’d told me back in 2009 – when I was fresh out of rehab and rebuilding myself from rock bottom – that one day I’d run multiple businesses, write a book, coach leaders, speak on stages, and gather incredible communities… I would’ve thought you were off your rocker.
But here we are.
And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this:
Leadership is not what you build.
Leadership is who you become while you’re building it.
