Ok, I want to share with you 6 easy, and also quite fun, ways of building your self-esteem!
But first, why would you want to build your self-esteem?
Because the level of your self-esteem determines not only your level of satisfaction with life but also the level of experiences you have in it. And it’s through experiences that we grow, evolve, and find the most joy in life.
Low self-esteem can show up in many ways, such as fear of being judged or ridiculed by others, or fear of failing and therefore not trying new things. It can cause this constant negative chatter going on in your head which makes you feel down or anxious. Or it gives a feeling of being unworthy or undeserving of good things and can cause low levels of motivation in all areas of your life.
Low self-esteem can have you constantly comparing yourself and your abilities to others and it will stop you from living your life to the fullest because you’re not seeking out new opportunities or allowing yourself to meet and connect with new people.
People with high self-esteem on the other hand have the confidence to go after their dreams, to pursue their goals, and they are eager to experience all that life has to offer. As a result, they are motivated and energised, they are enjoyable to be around, and they attract opportunities that allow them to move forward and excel in life.
So, how can you work on your self-esteem and grab more of the good stuff?
1. First and foremost. Spend some more time with yourself!
You can’t build a healthy relationship with yourself if you’re constantly distracting or running away from yourself. This may seem like an odd statement, but when was the last time that you were able to sit calmly and quietly and not feel like you need to be doing something, or speaking to someone, or making plans to do something or see someone?
The world is busy and we’ve got so used to distracting ourselves, so sitting with yourself may feel uncomfortable to do at first – unbearable for some even – but by not spending time alone with yourself, and giving yourself the undivided attention that you deserve, you are communicating to yourself that other things, and other people, are more important than you are – That is not the message you want to be sending to yourself! Remember that your relationship with yourself is the longest relationship that you will ever have, so invest in it. It’s not selfish, it’s showing yourself respect.
And the more you listen and tune into yourself then the more you will build your self-esteem and confidence and understand your needs so that you can meet them.
Meeting your needs is extremely important in building your self-esteem and confidence, so make sure that you are spending time each and every single day allowing yourself to process your thoughts and feelings, and just accept however or whatever you are feeling.
This won’t happen on it’s own so book it into your schedule each day. Start with just 5-minute check-ins once or twice a day and then build it up to longer and more frequent. You’ll find over time that you’ll feel much more at ease and comfortable with yourself; which keeps you calmer, keeps anxiety levels at bay, and self-esteem on the rise.
2. Secondly, Challenge yourself!
Now, I am a big fan of challenges and they don’t have to be big ones. When we challenge ourselves, if only a little, we move outside of our comfort zone and grow.
I would always suggest starting out with little challenges, such as getting up 30 minutes earlier, or adding an extra 15 minutes of exercise a day, or even saying hi to a stranger on the street every day for a whole week.
They can be totally random but something you don’t normally do.
Every time you complete a challenge that you’ve set yourself then you push outside of your comfort zone, and by doing so you prove your capabilities to yourself which builds your confidence in yourself and your abilities and this ultimately increases your self-esteem.
3. This brings me nicely to the next one – celebrating your wins.
It can be so easy to rush through life not noticing the progress that we are making. However small or insignificant you feel something is, it’s so important to recognise every achievement that you make. Whether it’s in your work or personal life, mark the occasion somehow in order to log it in as a success and allow it to build your self-esteem.
You can celebrate your wins in many ways, perhaps sharing it with a friend or family member, or doing something nice for yourself – whatever that looks like for you.
Personally, my go-to would probably be celebrating with some champagne, treating myself to some new clothes, or organising a celebratory outing somewhere or going on a mini-break. And sometimes, it’s just a long soak in a bubble bath with candles and music.
It doesn’t matter how you celebrate but doing something different, or out of the ordinary, to mark the occasion really solidifies the success and logs the accomplishment into your subconscious which builds your self-esteem and confidence in yourself.
4 . Now this one is something I would highly recommend you do sooner rather than later. It’s not the easiest one to face but it is necessary.
And it is… auditing your social circle.
Other people have a huge impact on you, they influence the way you think, they influence the beliefs that you adopt, and even on a subconscious level, you will emanate their behaviours. This is why it’s is important to be mindful of the company you are keeping and be aware as to whether it’s supporting you or not.
It doesn’t matter how much work you do on yourself, if you keep placing yourself in an unsupportive or toxic environment with people that either do not have your best interests at heart, or they themselves struggle to feel motivated or find belief in their own abilities, then you will simply undo all your efforts.
So have a think about who you spend the most time with, and ask yourself:
Do they make me feel positive when I’m around them?
Are they enthusiastic about my ideas?
Do they instill confidence in me and build me up?
or do they cause me to doubt myself?
do they struggle to understand me and so actually I prefer to not say too much?
Do they focus on what is going wrong in the world instead of what is going right?
If you can’t eliminate negative people or people that don’t lift you up, then you really want to limit your time with them.
You want to be spending more time with people who lead a life that you aspire to. If you don’t already know these kinds of people then I’m sending you on a mission right now to find them and schedule time with them each week; ideally daily.
Get around them as much as possible and absorb their energy. Allow them to lift you up, build your self-worth, and motivate you.
So, go on have a good think about this one and brainstorm some ways that you can meet some amazing people to raise your spirits and support you in building your own self-esteem.
5. The next one is reading autobiographies.
Reading autobiographies of people who have got to where you want to go is a great tool for building confidence in yourself.
If we are trying to get from A to B but have never done the journey before then we need a map – we can’t get there without one – and when it comes to yourself and your goals and aspirations, your map is other people who have already done the journey.
Reading people’s autobiographies allows your brain to understand how it would be possible for you to get there via them sharing their personal journey.
By Hearing, reading, or seeing their journey you are then able to visualise how it would be possible for you. So if you are doubting your capabilities then look for someone who has what you want and go and research how they got there.
6. And finally we come to social media!
I personally have a love/hate relationship with it.
The good side is that it can keep us easily connected with one another, it allows businesses to market themselves, and allows their clients or customers to get to know them better. People also share some great tools and resources on social media platforms that we can learn from and better ourselves with. However, it can also draw us into a game of comparison; whether that’s in business or career accolades, with body image and our personal appearance, or even whole lifestyles and life paths!
Be aware, social media is a marketer’s playground, and a marketer’s job is to make us feel lack in order to coerce us into a purchase. They’ve gotten very clever with it with the rise of influencer marketing and the advance in technology, so be mindful of this.
With personal accounts remember that you are also viewing everyone’s highlight reels and perfectly cropped photos; it’s not real life.
I would highly recommend that you limit your time spent on social media platforms as much as possible. It is designed to be addictive and can be highly distracting, not to mention detrimental to your mental health if you fall into the comparison game on a daily basis.
This being said, there are some things that can support you if you are spending time on the platforms.
You want to keep yourself grounded in the real world, with realistic expectations and not feel disheartened or demotivated by unobtainable standards.
That does your self-esteem no good whatsoever. You are you, and your uniqueness is what makes you very special. Capitalise on it all, don’t try to blend in and lose yourself through the process as this will lower your value and self-esteem.
So there you have my top 6 tips for building your self-esteem.
Now, don’t try to tackle everything at once, aim for building positive things into your days, and at a steady and sustainable pace.
Steady and sustainable in itself provides security, and security builds confidence.
Your levels of self-esteem will begin to rise as you accomplish more things and learn more about what makes you feel good by tuning into yourself.
You’ll reach your goals by surrounding yourself with positive influences (people and things) and don’t forget to obtain those maps from those who have traveled the journey before.
I’ll be back soon for more shares in the self-image, confidence, and lifestyle department.