Last month at Power & Presence, something unexpected happened.
It started with a cardboard box. A heavy one.
Inside? Around 50 well-worn books I’d carried with me for over a decade. Books on mindset, business, self-image, spirituality, and healing. Some I’d devoured cover to cover. Others half-read and left behind mid-chapter. Many had scribbles in the margins, corners folded, highlighter leaking through the pages.
They weren’t just books—they were lifelines.
Each one represented a chapter of my life, a moment of hope, a question I was trying to answer, or a version of me I was trying to become. They propped me up when I was falling, pushed me forward when I was stuck, and whispered truths to me when I wasn’t quite ready to hear them out loud.
And then, just like that, I gave them all away.
One by one, people at the event chose the book they were drawn to. Some messaged me after, saying how the words landed exactly when and where they needed to. That a phrase had sparked a new idea, or helped them see something clearly for the first time in ages.
And honestly… that’s exactly what those books were meant to do.
They weren’t meant to sit in my cupboard collecting dust. They were meant to move. To inspire. To spark. To guide.
And in letting them go, I realised that I was ready to let go of much more.
A Bigger Kind of Declutter
I’ve done my fair share of decluttering before. My cupboards have thanked me. But this time was different.
This wasn’t about making space in my home.
It was about making space in me.
Because somewhere between those shelves and boxes, I’d started to notice how much I was still clinging to. Not physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually.
I began to see the ways I was still tightly gripping parts of my life that no longer served me – structures, routines, and ways of working that once supported me, but now suffocated me.
And more than anything, I began to feel how much of it was rooted in a deep, deep desire for control.
The Illusion of Safety with Control
Here’s the truth: I’ve used control as a survival mechanism for as long as I can remember.
If you know my story, you’ll know how it played out. In the eating disorders. The self-harm. The addictions. The perfectionism. The relentless busy-ness. The constant reinvention. The makeup artistry. The bodybuilding. The business building. Even the coaching.
It all looked strong on the outside.
But much of it was about keeping life neat and tidy, so I wouldn’t have to feel the chaos underneath.
I wanted certainty. Order. Results. Proof. Something I could measure and point to and say: “See? I’m okay. I’m doing it right. I’m enough now.”
And while control gave me the illusion of safety, it also became a cage.
Because here’s what I’ve learnt over and over again:
The cost of control is connection. The price of certainty is presence. And the pursuit of perfection kills possibility.
When Busy Becomes a Distraction
Busyness is the socially acceptable addiction we rarely talk about.
We celebrate it. We idolise it. We put it on pedestals and worship at its altar.
But when I look back, so much of my productivity was just another form of avoidance.
It kept me from pausing long enough to ask hard questions, like:
- Is this really what I want?
- Am I truly fulfilled here?
- If everything I’ve built were to fall away… who would I be?
These are terrifying questions. And if you’re reading this with a tight chest or a lump in your throat, I want to say this:
You are not alone.
So many of the high-performing women I coach come to me wrapped in calendars full of back-to-back meetings, to-do lists that never end, and an inner critic that never shuts up.
They’ve created systems and structures to feel safe… but now they feel stuck. Numb. Or worse—disconnected from the version of themselves that once dreamed of more.
When Letting Go of Control Feels Like Losing Yourself
Right now, I’m in a season of letting go.
It’s scary as hell.
There’s a relocation brewing. There are logistics and decisions that make my head spin. There’s European travel on the horizon, a brand new area of study calling me forward, and a strong sense that the next chapter is asking me to show up in a very different way.
Some long-held doors are closing—projects, patterns, even parts of my identity I’ve clung to for years.
But for the first time, I’m letting them close. Fully. Without trying to wedge my foot in the frame or prop them open “just in case.”
And what’s showing up in their place is something wild, unpredictable, and deeply alive.
No neat plan. No spreadsheet. Just a deep inner knowing that it’s time.
Let me be honest: I’m terrified.
But I also know that if I don’t let go of the things that kept me “safe,” they’ll also keep me small.
Because that’s the truth no one tells you:
The tools we use to survive will eventually become the things that stop us from truly living.
Real Clutter Isn’t Always Visible
We often talk about clutter like it’s just stuff we need to get rid of—a messy drawer, a pile of clothes, unread emails.
But the real clutter?
It’s invisible.
It’s the internal noise.
It’s the beliefs that tell us who we should be.
It’s the coping strategies that no longer serve us but feel too familiar to release.
It’s the unspoken fear that if we let go of this identity, this job, this relationship, this lifestyle… we won’t know who we are anymore.
And I get it. I deeply get it.
Because when you’ve held something for so long—whether it’s an idea of yourself, a title, a routine, or a narrative—it’s not just a “thing.” It becomes part of your story.
And rewriting that story requires courage.
Learning to Trust Instead of Control
I’m still learning this, every day:
Life is not meant to be controlled. It’s meant to be trusted.
That doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing. It means we learn to co-create with life instead of trying to micromanage it into submission.
It means we move from force to flow. From proving to presence. From gripping to allowing.
And I’m seeing this not just in my life, but in the lives of the people I work with – creatives, founders, leaders – People with big hearts and full calendars. People who are done with performing and ready to get real.
The shift always begins with letting go.
Not of everything. Just enough to start breathing again.
What Are You Clinging To?
So let me ask you:
- What are you gripping so tightly that it’s robbing you of your freedom?
- What might you need to let go of to get out of your own way?
- What would happen if you stopped trying to control every outcome and trusted life just a little bit more?
These are the kinds of questions we avoid when we’re busy.
But they’re also the ones that lead to the biggest breakthroughs.
So I invite you to sit with them. Write about them. Talk them out loud. Whisper them to yourself if that’s all you can manage.
Because sometimes, clarity doesn’t come in the doing.
It comes in the pausing.
And sometimes, freedom isn’t something you go out and find.
It’s something you create when you finally choose to let go.
You’re Allowed to Change
You’re allowed to outgrow things you once loved.
You’re allowed to be scared of change and still choose it.
You’re allowed to lay down your armour and step into something softer, messier, more true.
You’re allowed to stop managing life and start living it.
I don’t have it all figured out. But I’m walking the path alongside you.
And if you’re standing at a similar crossroads—feeling scared, excited, unsteady—I see you.
And I promise you this: the courage it takes to let go is always worth it.
Big love. Big courage. Always.
Cam xx
