I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about connection – particularly with my recent move back to the bust,ling city of London -I’ve been thinking about what it really means, how it’s changed, and how easily we can lose it without even realising.
The truth is, we’re living in a world that’s noisier, faster, and more demanding than ever before. There’s a lot happening right now. There’s a lot of change, uncertainty, and disruption. Whether it’s politics, the economy, technology, or simply the pace of modern life, it all feels overwhelming.
And while so much of that is outside of our control, there’s one thing that’s always within it: ourselves, and how we respond to the people and things around us.
That includes how we connect both with others and with ourselves.
Lately, I’ve been craving more of the real kind. Not the comment threads, the DMs, or the “likes,” but the eye contact, the energy, the real and raw, in-person moments that remind us we’re human.
Flooded with Interaction, Starved of Connection
A few weeks ago, I went to Go Mental, a full-day mental health expo at The Science Museum, hosted by Rosie Millen. It was filled with inspiring talks on neuroscience, brain plasticity, trauma recovery, and mental resilience.
But one theme kept coming up again and again: loneliness.
One speaker (Anna Mathur) summed it up perfectly:
“We are flooded with interaction but starved of connection.”
That line hit me hard, because it’s so true, isn’t it?
We’ve never been more “available” to each other (emails, WhatsApps, Zooms, DMs) and yet, many of us have never felt so disconnected from each other.
The very platforms that were designed to bring us together are filling our time with false connection. They give the illusion of closeness, but they actually pull us further away from the deeper, more meaningful relationships that fill our hearts and nourish our souls.
We end up surrounded by digital noise and emotional emptiness… and because everyone else is living this way too, it starts to feel normal.
But it’s not.
The Hidden Cost of Busyness and Lack of Connection
This same pattern shows up in another disguise – busyness.
Somewhere along the line, we made busyness a badge of honour. We started treating rest like laziness and saw “hustle” as the ultimate measure of worth.
But what if all that doing isn’t as noble as we tell ourselves?
What if it’s a distraction?
A form of avoidance?
When life feels uncertain or unstable, our instinct is to grab control wherever we can. And often, that looks like doing more. Filling our days to the brim. Saying yes to everything. Chasing achievements that keep us distracted from how we really feel inside.
I’ve realised that busyness can be a brilliant disguise for loneliness.
When we’re always in motion – always doing, striving, achieving – there’s no room left to feel. To notice what’s missing. To sit in the quiet where truth tends to whisper.
Sometimes, that constant motion isn’t ambition – it’s self-protection. A trauma response dressed up as productivity.
Because stillness asks us to face ourselves.
Connection asks us to be seen.
And for many of us, that’s far scarier than being “too busy.”
But we can’t outwork our need for connection.
And we can’t replace belonging with busyness.
Without genuine, heart-to-heart connection, we can have the fullest calendar and still feel empty.
Stepping Back to See What’s Real
After Go Mental, I found myself questioning how connected I really was.
How often was I truly present in conversations?
How often was I listening intently?
How often was I doing things that genuinely fed my mind, heart, and spirit?
That’s when I decided to make some shifts.
I’ve been flirting with the idea of taking a proper break from social media and maybe even stepping away from it entirely. And attending Go Mental felt like another nudge that it’s the right thing to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m deeply grateful for the community I’ve built online. So many of the people I’ve met through my platforms have become clients, collaborators, and genuine friends. But I have to admit that it’s got to the point where I feel it’s takeing more from me than it gives.
What I want more of now is REAL.
I want the rawness.
I want the vulnerability.
I want TRUE connection with deeper conversations, shared energy, and emotions that genuinely connect me on a deep level with someone.
True connection takes effort and intention. It means carving out the time, showing up fully, and being there in more than just body.
It’s not easy to do when your brain is scattered across multiple platforms with many conversations on the go at one time, in a world that rewards instant gratification and constant visibility online. I’m learning that protecting your peace and being fully present in real life may mean disconnecting to reconnect with being human.
The Mind-Body Connection – and the Power Within
One evening, the week after Go Mental, I went to a Seed Talk with Dr. David Hamilton at London Bridge. He spoke about how the mind heals the body, and as you can imagine, it was fascinating.
I actually first came across David during my research for #NoFilterNeeded and cited his work a few times in the book around how the brain can’t distinguish between what’s real and what’s imagined, and how much power we have within our minds to create change, both internally and externally.
Meeting him in person, after all these years, was a full-circle moment.
Listening to him talk reminded me of something I often say to my clients:
The most powerful change starts within.
When we shift our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, everything around us starts to shift too.
It’s not “woo-woo” – it’s neuroscience.
Our brains are constantly responding to the stories we tell them. When we visualise, believe, and embody something deeply enough, our minds begin to create new pathways… and then our reality starts to follow.
It’s proof that we have far more control over our experience than we often think.
When we strengthen the link between our mind and body, we stop waiting for the world to calm down or for someone else to “choose” us. We become the driver of our own experience.
From Waiting to Choosing
That idea carried through perfectly into the next evening, when I attended The Women’s Chapter event at The Conduit in Covent Garden. The evening was entitled:
“Waiting to Be Chosen: What Happens When You Stop.”
The conversation explored how, from an early age, many of us are taught to wait – to be picked, noticed, promoted, or included. Even as experienced professionals, founders, or leaders, that mindset still shapes how we show up in life.
We play small. We hesitate. We wait for permission.
But what happens when we stop waiting?
When we start choosing ourselves instead, and we move from hesitation to presence, from questioning capability to confident self-trust and unapologetic visibility?
That’s when everything changes.
Because confidence isn’t something that ever arrives fully formed. It’s something we have to choose to embody – over and over again – through how we show up, speak up, and back ourselves when no one is approving, supporting, or cheering us on.
That evening we were all reminded that empowerment doesn’t come from being chosen by others; it comes from choosing ourselves first.
Finding Balance in a World of Noise
Between those three events – the mental health expo, the talk on the mind-body connection, and the women’s empowerment evening – a clear message emerged for me:
We have far more control over our experience than we realise.
We might not be able to slow the world down, but we can slow ourselves down.
We can choose to tune out the noise and tune back into what matters.
We can take responsibility for what we consume – from news and social media to the people we surround ourselves with.
And if our environment stops supporting us? Then it’s time to make a change and find one that does – that could mean switching off, stepping back, or, like me recently, relocating entirely (again!)
Because growth can’t happen until we cut the dead ends and clear space for it. It starts with subtraction by removing what drains you to make space for what truly fills you and creating the right conditions for that to thrive in.
So Here’s Your Invitation for Reconnection
If you’re feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or stretched too thin, then maybe it’s not more doing that you need.
Maybe it’s more being.
- Being present with the people who light you up.
- Being kind to your mind and body.
- Being brave enough to slow down and listen to what you really need.
Connection doesn’t just happen; it’s something we must cultivate.
And it starts with awareness, by giving ourselves the space and quiet alone time to ask, “What am I really craving right now?”
Because your energy, your time, and your attention are not infinite.
When you invest them in real and true connection, then life doesn’t just feel fuller; it feels meaningful and purposeful.
So maybe this week, put down your phone.
Cancel the plan that drains you.
Reach out to the person who makes you laugh.
And stop waiting for someone or something to give you the green light, instead choose yourself and just go for it.
As I always say, you’ve only got one life – live it by your own design, by your own choosing, and your very own beautiful making.
Remember, the richest life isn’t the one packed with plans and productivity – it’s the one filled with people, presence, and purpose ♥️
