It’s amazing how a bit of distance from something can completely change your perspective on it… particularly when that distance lasts a few years.
Over the past 6 months, I’ve been throwing myself back into CJC Hair & Makeup, the business I founded over 16 years ago – and I’m having a surprising amount of fun with it!
I didn’t completely leave it, but stepping away from a business I’d spent years building began when writing my book #NoFilterNeeded. The agency has continued operating all these years; I’ve remained involved, and I’ve still picked up the occasional makeup brush or hair tool… but for a good 5 years my attention was largely elsewhere, building my coaching and speaking work and exploring what I thought might be the next chapter of my professional life.
I was ready for something different… or at least I thought I was.
Stepping away from a business can change how you see it
Something I’ve realised since returning to the business is how easy it is to become limited by your own experience.
When you’ve been doing something for years, you develop a fairly fixed idea of how things work. You know your clients, your market, the types of jobs that come in and the opportunities available to you.
And eventually, without realising it, you start believing that’s all there is. That’s the point I’d reached with CJC Hair & Makeup.
The work had become familiar. The clients were familiar. The opportunities looked much the same as they always had, and I was so caught up in a never-ending cycle of generating leads, managing bookings, and keeping everything running that I wasn’t spending much time questioning what else might be possible.
It turns out that the business hadn’t run out of potential; I’d just stopped looking for it.
And as I naturally found myself drawn back into the business this year, I brought a different perspective and renewed enthusiasm for business development. New experiences, a change of location, and different connections have opened my eyes to opportunities that hadn’t crossed my mind previously.
And that’s felt fresh and exciting.
It’s a mindset shift business owners need to keep making as their experience grows, but it’s easy to get so accustomed to operating in a particular way that we forget we’ve earned the knowledge, confidence, and experience to do things differently.
The trouble with knowing what works in your business
Something else brought this home to me recently, during the RSVP symposium in Croatia.
The theme of the event was The Power of No – saying no, knowing your stuff, knowing the right people- but in his closing remarks, James (the founder of RSVP) turned the whole thing on its head.
What about the power of YES?
He asked everyone to think about a time they’d said yes to something that had changed their business for the better.
People started sharing their stories, but something occurred to me…
Almost every example I could think of came from the early days of building my business. They were all back when I had very little to lose, everything to prove, and was willing to have a go at pretty much anything – and I damn well did!
I threw caution to the wind often – took big chances, cold-called people with ballsy confidence, pursued opportunities I probably wasn’t qualified for, and tried all sorts of things that didn’t work out… but lots of them did!
And those experiences were a huge part of how I built the business in the first place.
Then as the years went by and the business became established, there was a reputation to uphold, responsibilities to manage… and I knew what worked and got stuck doing that.
Without even noticing, I’d become a lot more cautious.
Of course, experience does teach us things and make us more wary… We can’t say yes to everything forever – nor should we – but there’s actually a fine line between making sensible decisions and simply playing it safe.
And in that auditorium, as people shared, I couldn’t stop wondering how many opportunities I’d missed because I’d stopped putting myself in the position to find them.
And what an interesting contradiction; you spend years building the experience, knowledge, and confidence to take bigger chances, only to find yourself becoming less inclined to take them. At what point does protecting what we’ve built start getting in the way of what we could build next?
The search for something more meaningful and stepping away from a business
So why did I start stepping away from a business I’d spent so many years building in the first place?
Well, I thought the answer was that I wanted to do something more meaningful with my life. Work was a big part of it after all, and I wanted to make more of an impact and help people in a way that felt more significant.
I’d built a business, worked with wonderful people, and created a career that had given me a huge amount of freedom and opportunity.
But I’d reached a point where I was struggling to see how much further I could take it. And, if I’m being completely honest, I was beginning to question whether “fluffing around with makeup brushes” was really a meaningful enough way to spend my working life.
To me, it was just hair and makeup. Lovely, yes. Important to the person sitting in my chair, absolutely. But how much if an impact was it making on the lives of people and the world as a whole?
So I moved into confidence coaching, which gradually evolved into broader personal development work, alongside speaking and writing.
And I’m glad I did.
That chapter introduced me to new people, challenged me in completely different ways, and taught me an enormous amount, not least about myself.
But it also helped me recognise something I hadn’t fully understood before.
Perhaps it wasn’t my business that was lacking purpose. Perhaps I was asking it to do too much.
When your business becomes your entire identity
I started my business young, at an age when life was still largely about working hard, going out, having fun, and figuring things out as you went along.
But as the years passed, life changed.
And the most important thing in my life was my business.
When you work for yourself, particularly when you’ve created something from scratch, the boundaries between your business and your identity can become rather blurred.
Your work isn’t just what you do…. It’s who you are.
And when work occupies such a large proportion of your life, it’s easy to start expecting it to fulfil your emotional needs.
I wanted purpose, fulfilment, connection, achievement, excitement and a sense that I was doing something worthwhile.
And I honestly believed my business could provide it all for me.
The irony is that I went on to teach people about the importance of creating balance across different areas of their lives – so easy to miss our blind spots, eh?
Over the past five years, through different work, experiences, relationships, and a fair amount of trial and error, I’ve become more conscious of the distinction between what I do for a living and who I am outside of it.
Before, I believed the two should be indistinguishable; now I’ve learned that they don’t have to be.
And so my business hasn’t actually changed, but how I feel about it has.
I no longer need it to answer every question I have about my purpose in life. I don’t need it to feed all of my needs – it can simply be a business – a successful, profitable, enjoyable business that I’m proud to have built. It can still bring me purpose and fulfilment, but I no longer expect it to provide everything.
Follow the fun
I’ve had a saying for years: Follow the Fun.
I’ve lived by it for decades without realising it. I’ll admit that
And no, it doesn’t mean abandoning your responsibilities, avoiding difficult decisions, or spending every afternoon drinking rosé – although I’ll admit that was once pretty close to my interpretation, and it didn’t do me many favours!
But it’s how I built my business to start with – I had to make it fun because it was tough going and pretty scary – and I’ll tell you what, fun is infectious.
Because when you’re having fun, your energy changes. You’re more open, more curious, more sociable and generally a much more enjoyable person to be around.
And people feel it and respond to it.
It’s good for friendships, relationships, and it’s bloody good for business, too! People naturally gravitate towards those who are enjoying what they do, and it’s a lot easier to put yourself out there when you are.)
The more I’ve enjoyed being back in the hair and makeup industry, the more I’ve naturally wanted to get involved.
I’ve been meeting people, attending events, reconnecting with contacts, exploring new opportunities and thinking creatively about where the business could go next.
And rather than feeling like something I should be doing, it’s largely felt like something I want to do.
Of course, there’s still plenty of admin, difficult decisions, and rather unsexy work involved. But the enjoyment has created momentum and reminded me just how much I love the business development side of being an entrepreneur, so I plan to continue riding it this time, now aware of the pitfalls that could stop it.
Not quite where I expected to be
If I could tell the version of myself from a year ago one thing, it would probably be this:
You have absolutely no idea what’s coming.
As a self-confessed control freak, that would have been both exciting and terrifying in equal measure.
I thought I had a fairly clear idea of where I thought my life was heading (for the year ahead, at least!)
I had plans, ambitions, expectations, and a vision of how certain things might unfold.
And quite a lot of it has turned out differently.
I’ve found myself enjoying being back in London, which I did not expect. My professional priorities have totally shifted… as have my personal ones, actually.
My personal life has thrown up a few surprises, too, including a relationship I certainly wouldn’t have predicted a year ago.
Life, the universe – whatever – it has a sense of humour.
And I choose to humour it back.
One thing is for sure: the older I get, the less I actually know about what lies ahead… and the more comfortable I get with that.
We can plan, set goals, visualise outcomes, and work towards the things we think we want.
But sometimes life takes us somewhere completely different.
Because these last few months alone have taught me that stepping away from a business gives you the perspective to see that it actually has plenty more to offer.
I haven’t abandoned my interest in personal development, speaking, or helping people. Those things have always been in me, and they always will be.
I’ve simply been enjoying giving CJC Hair & Makeup more of my attention this year, while continuing to make room for selective speaking engagements and some of the other work I love.
And what’s been the real plot twist for me – after spending years always looking for what’s next, I’ve found myself excited about something that’s already been before.
I haven’t gone backwards; I haven’t abandoned everything else I’ve explored. Those experiences have simply changed my perspective on something that’s been in front of me all along.
