Have you ever heard the term “ask better questions, get better answers?”
Well, there’s a lot of truth in it.
And asking yourself questions is a great way to uncover your deep-seated beliefs and true feelings.
The more questions we ask ourselves then the more we are able to discover about our thought patterns and beliefs, and ultimately get to the root cause of our feelings.
Whether it’s anger, sadness, anxiety… or joy, peace…. and happiness, it’s extremely beneficial for you to know exactly why you feel a certain way so that you can understand your motives and your triggers and navigate yourself through life with much more ease – bringing more of the positive feelings in and less of the negative ones.
Giving myself the Spanish inquisition and asking myself question after question, and digging deeper and deeper each time, has uncovered some big revelations…
BUT it’s also sent me down some rabbit holes and to some rather confusing, and sometimes quite dark, places.
I actually interviewed psychologist, Fiona Murden, on the #NoFilterNeeded podcast recently – if you haven’t seen that interview you can watch it here on the YouTube channel or listen to the episode via your preferred listening platform – but Fiona said that sometimes asking “why” questions can send us down a rabbit hole which isn’t helpful, so she suggested that instead you should ask yourself “what” questions.
So for example; instead of “why do I feel this way?” you would ask
“what is making me feel this way?”
What questions can be more actionable and solution-focused such as:
“what would improve the situation?”
“what can I do?”
Personally, if I’m in a spot of bother with something I find writing things down really helpful to physically work through it with a pen to paper rather than trying to figure it all out in my head.
We have so many thoughts passing through us that it can be quite hard to properly tackle a problem, or work out a solution to things, or even just get to the bottom of why we’re feeling a certain way by trying to think about it alone.
So writing questions out and answering them in a journal or on paper can be a much quicker and easier way for you to have breakthroughs. It also makes it much easier to reflect back on and notice things that you may not have noticed before.
I really encourage you to be a detective on yourself.
Get into the habit of asking yourself questions regularly – I don’t mean in an obsessive way – but arouse curiosity within yourself, and also curiosity with the things (and people) that are around you.
And when you are able to think in a more flexible way then you will find it easier to handle situations and get yourself out of muddles when you find yourself in them.
You can also practice doing this with other people as well and prompting them to ask better questions about themselves or their circumstances. This will make you a better communicator and better at building relationships as it will have you conversing better with one another, and on a more deeper and meaningful level.
You will also learn about other’s points of view and their perceptions of things which will expand your mind and again promote flexibility with your own thinking and general open-mindedness.
Remember – better questions will give you better answers – so get creative with your questions!